The DIABLO review. 4/15/08

18 Apr

 I love taping this show and just watching the performances back, it saves so much time. 7 songs all under 2 minutes, I love it. I could watch it even quicker if I wasn’t using an old school VHS and having to FF thru the extranious BS! Well here goes my take on the night:) 

David Archuleta – [this review has been deleted by the admins]

EDIT: Actually what I really thought of this little fucker is that is was boring as hell and it sounded just like every other whiney nasally piece of SHIT he’s done all year. Fuck this little kid, I am fucking sick of seeing his mediocre ass on my TV every week. GO THE FUCK HOME!!! You know what, I shouldn’t be so angry with him, it isn’t his fault there are million os STUPID FUCKING TONE DEAF LITTLE TWEENYBOPPER BITCHES THAT WOULDN’T KNOW TALENT IF IT PINCHED THE SHIT OUT OF THEIR PUBESCENT FUCKING LITTLE NIPPLES!!! So I appolize to Arch, its his fans that need to FUCK OFF AND DIE! All of you little materialistic self absorded BITCHES will get what you deserve one day. You’ll marry a dude just for the ‘financial security’ and he will treat you like the BITCH and WHORE that you are. HAHAHAHAHA! I hate to have to be so honest, but you fucking bitches have left me no other choice than to be completely fucking honest which I can be on this profile and you can’t do a FUCKING thing about it, so SUCK MY DICK FUCKERS!! REPORT THIS TO THE ADMINS DICKHEADS!!!! There Ok my rant is over, now on to further edit my review! Oh yeah and David gets a 5/10 for soullessly singing another snoozer of a ballad!

Carly Smithson – 6.5/10 She needs to losen up. She seems really nervous. Whatever she’s thinking about she needs to let go of and completely throw herself into the song. She sings it damn good, but there is something missing on the connection/emotiona l level! Damn good, but not great and it should have been great!

EDIT:I know she has it in her and I am just waiting for her to kick some serious fucking ass. I hope she doesn’t go the way of Michael Johns and gett booted off waaay to fucking early. I still can’t understand how the fuck that BULLSHIT happened! Fucking TONE DEAF America!

Syesha Mercado – 7/10 First half. 2/10 Second half. This started out pretty damn good, she was belting it out OK then she completely lost the melody. In doing that she started doing a run that was all over the place and completely off key. Started good and ended HORRIBLY! Worst I’ve ever heard this far in the contest!

EDIT: This sucked more than a $20 whore jacked up on a $10 rock! Its time for her nappy head to go!!

Brooke White – 7/10 I LOVE Brooke White!! She is so honest and REAL! Were her vocals great? Was her playing great? No but it was real and honest. It became a bit disconjointed and she hit a bum chord on the piano but thats OK. I’d much rather hear an honest Brooke White performance anyday than a soulless robotic Archie song!!

EDIT: What Brooke needs to loosen her the fuck up is a real good fucking. I’m not talking this soft sweeet making love bullshit that her conservative Mormon ass is used to, I’m talking some nasty kinky, fuck the feather we’re using the whole chicky kinky nasty sticking get some extra KY FUCKING! Thats what she needs and she’d be alright!

Kristy Lee Cook – 8.5/10 Thats RIGHT! Please everyone that claims KLC can’t sing, PLEASE raise your hands. I want to know who you are so I can put you on my ignore list because you are obviously TONE DEAF and I do not care to read your opinions nor discuss AI with you!!! OK last night I watched the CMT Awards, (not to be confused with the much more prestigious CMA Awards) and I want to compare KLC to a few things I heard there last night. First of all Kellie Pickler won 3 awards, congrats. Carrie sang and sang wonderfully as usual, but I want to mention Taylor Swift. Taylor won several awards and also performed. If you don’t know who she is, she is an 18 year old country star who’s debut CD has sold a few million in the past 15 months. She writes decent pop-country tunes but it isn’t my taste. Her recording voice is OK, but her live singing voice SUCKS so bad. She sounded like a cat being murdered last night on the show, it was excruciating! If you put her performance on the CMT Awards last night up against KLC tonight, Taylor would get laughed at. And if this chick can go platinum and win the very prestigious CMA Horizon Award, I assure you KLC WILL be a HUGE country star!!!

EDIT: No need to mention how fucking HOT KLC in that dress tonight and much I’d love to fuck the hell out of her!!!

David Cook – 6.5/10 HATED IT! Well I hated the first half of it, after that it was really pretty damn good! He certainly nails the **** out of the glory note at the end, and thats what matters. You can start out bad and end good and thats fine, but you can’t do what Syesha did, start out good and end horribly, people always remember the ending. I’m probably being a little harsh on him but I really didn’t care for it that much even though he is still one of my favs!

EDIT: I have nothing to add except that he looked hot in that dress and I want to fuck the hell out of him:)

Jason Castro – 8.5/10 This was AWESOME! I love the Latin feel with the congas and with J’s Columbian heritage it worked out perfectly. His voice may not have POWER but it is so smoooooooooooth! This guy will be a big star there is no doubt about it. My favorite performance of the night, he certainly deserved the ‘pimp spot’.

EDIT: I could see myself at some nice oceanside bar, listening to a set by Jason Castro, sipping a nice margarita or Corona and smoking a huge fucking joint! Yeah, that would be fucking groooooooovy!

Best to worst tonight IMO

Jason Castro
Kristy Lee Cook

Carly Smithson
Brooke White

David Cook
Syesha Mercado

 

🙂

FUCK DAVID ARCHULETA!!

 

 

 

 

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5 Responses to “The DIABLO review. 4/15/08”

  1. shauna April 20, 2008 at 11:36 am #

    your site stinks

    Like

  2. salomey5 April 20, 2008 at 12:14 pm #

    your detailed argument has showed me the light, thanks for your comment! 🙂

    Like

  3. Shauna April 20, 2008 at 11:39 pm #

    To tell you the truth I came to your site because I truly thought you had something worthwhile to say. But instead all I found was obscene and offensive attacks on people. How can that possibly be insightful? It’s not.

    Like

  4. salomey5 April 21, 2008 at 1:07 am #

    Ok, first of all, are you commenting on Diablo’s review, or my site in general?
    Because, FYI, we’re not the same person.

    The above is his opinion on the performances; opinions are like assholes, everybody’s got one.

    As for my foul language, there is a warning on the top of my page, making a mention of bad words lurking ahead.
    But you make a good point, maybe I should put my warning on an actual homepage, I’ll think about that.
    Thanks for what I assume is an unvoluntary suggestion.

    And, in case you are referring to my blog in general, if you did look around, you should have noticed that providing insight isn’t exactly my primary goal.

    If insightful and PC is what you’re looking for, indeed, you landed in the wrong place.
    My goal is to goof around with the very thin plot of an already very goofy show, and it happens to amuse a few people, including myself.
    I guess you’re not getting my sense of humour.

    Thanks for your visit anyway.

    Like

  5. Lissycat April 28, 2008 at 7:08 am #

    diablo, you are entitled to your opinion, but i’ll never agree that KLC and jason and brooke are “stars”.

    Like

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