The DIABLO American Idol Review. 4/29/08.

30 Apr

 

After a week off, here is the DIABLO review, back with wonderful BULLHEADED TENACITY (a very fitting description someone used on me earlier). So her goes MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

As always, FUCK what the judges have to say. I’ve played more live gigs than both Paula and Randy combined and for Simon music is only about $$$ and not true artistry, so I could really give a flying fuck what they have to say. I’ll probably watch again and listen to a few of their comments out of curiousity though!

Neil Diamond night, this should be interesting, Neil has certainly written tons of great songs that fit into almost every genre! Here we go!

 

Jason Castro – 6/10 (Forever In Blue Jeans) This reminds me of hosting open mic nights in Austin. I’d hear a dozen singers giving a dozen performances just like this. Thankfully these type of performances didn’t suck to the point where I was at the bar doing shots of tequilla just to help me get through the night. Decent and pleasant, but pretty dull and boring! But suprisingly, he sounds alot like Neil Diamond in a few spots.

David Cook – 7/10 (I’m Alive) Cook back with the white Gibson Les Paul, glad to see that. I’d really love to see what kind of lead chops he has on the thing, maybe that’ll happen in the finale’. Vocally its kinda monotone in the beginning and a bit dull. Its OK but certainly not his best.Brooke White – 6.5/10 (I’m A Believer) One of the peppiest songs of the 60’s and Brooke stand there like a fucking statue the entire time. Come on girl, you’re Mormon not Baptist, its OK to dance around a little. Pull the stick out of your ass or whatever but loosen the fuck UP! If she’d just relax and have fun this would actually be pretty damn good. With a guitar on she really reminds me of Juice Newton (kiddies use wiki if you don’t know who Juice is). Hell maybe if she believed in drinking caffine that would help! Somebody needs to spike her water with some fucking no-doze or something. I LOVE you Brooke, but loosen the fuck up, seriously!

David Archuleta – 6/10 (Sweet Caroline) About as spicy and tasty as a fucking rice cake. Jesus, this kid is Latino right? Where the fuck is that Latino SPICE? This kids vocals are whiter than Pat Boone, (agian WIKI kiddies). This is a really good vocal if you don’t count all the flat notes! But I highly doubt the little tonedeaf tweenybopper fan girls and boys would ever notice them anyway!

Syesha Mercado – 8/10 (Hello Again) Damn good so far! She should’ve went home two weeks ago with her horrible off key screeching during Mariah week, but now she’s giving the best performance of the night so far! That’ll be the kiss of death probably. The past three weeks, the person with the best or second best performance has went home, why should this week be any different? Excellent job by Syesha, way to go. BTW, I wish she’d leave her hair like this, it looks so much better than the other way she wears it!

Time for ROUND 2!

Jason Castro – 6/10 (September Morning) This sounds like later on during an open mic night and Jason and I have just returned from the parking lot having smoked a big fucking bowl of some killer fucking bud, and we are BAKED!!! As I have been with countless acoustic gigs, and will be agian I’m sure, this is nothing but musical wallpaper. Background music while having a nice dinner at a casual bar and grill, decent but nothing special!

David Cook – 7.5/10 (All I Really need Is You) I like the soft subtle rasp he as during the softer part at the first of the song. This is another good DC performance and it just proves how consistant the guy really is. The falsetto note near the end was a bit gay, but thankfully not completely in an Ace Young kinda way! Another good DC performance!

Brooke White – 8/10 (I Am, I Said) I LOVE Brooke White and this is exactly why! When she sits at a piano and sings she is a STAR and she is certainly going to be one without a doubt. She might not end up Norah Jones 10 million records 7 Grammy’s big, but I think she’ll do better than say Diana Krall and maybe Regina Spektor. I could certainly see myself going to see Brooke White live in concert. 2 hours of her and nothing but a piano would be fine with me! Thankfully she doesn’t need to ‘shake it’ so to speak while sitting at the piano, so that mellow anti-caffine nice Mormon girl thing works, while sitting at least!

David Archuleta – 6/10 (America) Ditto above review. But I’ll add this. I don’t believe Neil Diamond wrote ‘My Country Tis of Thee’ you fucking pandering DOUCHEBAG!!! Did anybody else catch his fuck-up and that fucking annoy smirk on his face after he made it? I’ll bet Daddy Archuleta knocks that fucking smirk off his face later tonight!!! FUCK I cannot stand this little fucker!!!

Syesha Mercado – 8/10 (Thank The Lord For The Night Time) Poor Syesha, she’s going home tomorrow night for sure. First of all, she had the absolute BEST 2 performances of the night, and secondly, OMG, she mentioned THE LORD!!! How dare she! Well maybe since she didn’t mention Jesus specifically she’ll be OK. At first I didn’t think this was as good as her first song, but by the end I’d changed my mind. I like the first song better, but both vocal performances were equally as good!

Well there you have the DIABLO review for the week. Hope you enjoy. If you agree, great! If not, great. If my opinion pisses you off, way GREAT! I feel like being a cocky dick at the moment so I want to remind some of you that don’t know about ME exactly who and what I am! This is not the opinion of some kid with little or no musical experience or knowledge, this is the opinion of a MAN with 30 years of music playing experience and over 20 years of professional teaching and playing experience! Am I a cocky jerk about MY opinions. DAMN STRAIGHT I AM and I’ve earned the fucking RIGHT to be!

 

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