Nailin’ Palin, Montreal style!

4 Nov

Man, I haven’t been so proud of my city since the 20th Francofolies, last August. And then the Francofolies before, in 2007; as well as the 25th anniversary of the International Jazz Festival, in 2004. And of course, let’s not forget our 1993 Stanley Cup win -and the riot that ensued-.

In case you wonder, the Francofolies are a 10-days-long Francophone (kind of) music festival. And the International Jazz Festival is pretty self-explanatory, I think. Basically, Montreal is the world’s capital of huge motherfucking festivals, which is something to be proud of because our festivals ROCK, and if you don’t believe me, come and check it out for yourself next July.

And I’d like to add that I was also pretty damn proud of my city after our last federal election, which happened three weeks ago and got totally upstaged by the American election, even here in Canada. But I’m proud to say that Montreal did not elect one single conservative MP, so up yours Stephen Harper. (And for its credit, neither did Toronto, although I hate to admit it.)

Speaking of conservatives, wanna know what made me, once again, so proud to be a Montrealer?

The fact that two other Montrealers NAILED Palin, my friend!!!

Well, not literally, but they did have phone sex.

Just kidding. Gotcha!

This Saturday, November 1st, les Justiciers Masqués (the Masked Avengers, aka Marc-Antoine Audette et Sébastien Trudel) a pair of DJs/comedians from the Montreal radio station CKOI, made a more than successful prank call to Sarah Palin. Six minutes, and one does wonder if it couldn’t have gone along quite a bit longer, given that the woman thanked the fake Sarkozy for his complimenting the “documentary about her life, “Nailin’ Palin”.

But some things shouldn’t be narrated, they should just be listened to. And I suggest you do just that, right here below.

Enjoy, and I’ll meet you after thejump.

So, how awesome was this, huh? Fucking “Gotcha” alright!!!

I am still laughing, personally. This is a moment I shall cherish until at least, I so freaking hope, tomorrow, when, I so freaking hope, Obama wins.

But since I don’t want to jinx him, I’ll just move on and keep on keeping all my crossable extremities (fingers, toes, and I will eagerly read any suggestions that you may want to leave in the comments box below thank you very much) crossed.

Back to this orgasmic fountain of “lolz” that this call was, I would like, for the sake of our non-French-speaking friends, to add a few explanations and/or translations here and there, so that you can all enjoy the full scope of this comedic masterpiece.

1.04: When “Sarko” is referring to his “special American advisor”, he names Johnny Hallyday; Hallyday is a legendary French rocker.

2.05: They are talking about going hunting together, when “Sarko” suggests: “On pourrait tuer des bébés phoques aussi”.

FYI, fellow Americans (and British, Scottish, Irish, Australian, well, basically, Anglophones), that means: “We could also kill baby seals.”

2.53: “Sarko” refers to Canada’s Prime Minister as Stef Carse. It is embarrassing to even admit that Canada bred Stef Carse, but since this is all for a good cause, know that Stef Carse is the kind of guy who only wishes he could be categorized as “an extremely cheesy wannabe country singer”.

OK, I’ll spill it all. He’s the guy who translated “Achy Breaky Heart” in French, under the title of “Achy Breaky Danse” and inexplicably got a hit out of it. Pathetic, I know.

That said, not quite as pathetic as Palin, who obviously has NO idea who the fuck our PM is. Hello, your closest neighbours had an election like, three weeks ago?!

You’d think that if she can see Russia from her house, she’d invest in a good pair of binoculars and also keep an eye on us pesky Canadians who might all of sudden see an influx of population, should McCain win in a few hours.

Anyway, moving along. If I start to comment on Palin’s über-idiotic and airheady answers, giggles and winks ( I know it’s an audio clip, but I betcha she was winking during the whole phone conversation), I’ll be here until the recount.

3.04: Palin says “pundiNts” instead of “pundits”. Anything to criticize the crazy bitch. Even if it turns out that “pundints” is an actual word. I’m a Francophone, after all, give me a break.

3.12: “Sarko” refers to Québec’s PM as Richard Z Sirois, who is in fact a Montreal comedian and DJ on CKOI, the radio station whose ass Palin would probably happily sue, could she find a way around it.

4.04: “Sarko” is talking about the song his wife wrote for Sarah Palin, called “Du rouge à lèvres sur une cochonne” (lipstick on a -female- pig); he then proceeds to rip off “Joe le taxi”, one the most successful French music exports ever. So successful that the singer married Johnny Depp, the lucky bitch.

As I said, I will take a pass on commenting on Palin’s supreme ditziness and complete absence of reaction to things like “Canada’s PM, Stef Carse”; as someone who could be America’s VP tomorrow, or worse, she really should fucking know shit like that, and the fact that she doesn’t is so beyond words that I’ll stop here. But it felt good just mentioning it.

I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. Montreal rocks, doesn’t it?

One last thing before I upload this shit and retire though:

Un gros crisse de BRAVO à Marc-Antoine Audette et Sébastien Trudel de CKOI; c’était génial, les gars, merci beaucoup! Vous devriez venir me parler de ça à CIBL un de ces jours. 😉

Alrighty then, I’m outta here. And for the love of Pete, please vote Obama tomorrow.

Please?

Good luck America. And if you have a last minute doubt as you’re about to cast your vote, replay the conversation posted above in your head before you do.

On that, as Alfred Hitchcock used to say, good nite. Mwahahaha!

You can download the audio clip above HERE


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