WAIT!!!

10 Jan

Before you start scrolling down…

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First of all, hello and welcome to the twisted world of Rebel Without A Clue: Not crazy, just dysfunctional, which, let’s face it, isn’t all that twisted, although it is indeed rather dysfunctional.

Now that I’ve  figured how to create a sticky post,  I thought I’d use that newly acquired knowledge to share some valuable information with you guys.

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Should you find yourself, for one reason or another, landing on this here blog, and are either a 13 years old, a born-again Christian, or simply easily offended, you might not like it here.

I swear like a sailor, harbour a profound dislike for the preachy hyper-religious types, and enjoy taking the piss at a vast array of people, including… well, everyone.

So if you disapprove of my over-the-top use of the F word, my Elisabeth Hasselbeck bashing, or my habit of randomly inserting sex and drug-consumption scenes in my American Idol “recaps”, I beseech you, turn away. NOW. Here’s the exit door. Good-bye, and thanks for dropping by. (And for the record, that website is not as nauseating as its name would seem to indicate, so don’t be scared of clicking on it.)

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To the rest of you who are still here, if there are any, I invite you to scroll down to my latest posts (after hitting the “back” button on your browser, because if you’re reading this, it means that you’re no longer on my homepage, y’see? No? Nevermind…)

If you’re a moron who doesn’t know what or where your browser’s “back” button is (tsk!), use one of the multiple fancy navigation thingies on the right of this page, or better, head to my fantabulous “Site Map”, which is never quite up to date, but since you can’t even identify a browser’s “back” button, so fucking what, it’s not like you’ll notice it anyway, tsk.

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I hope you enjoy your dysfunctional stay here, and you know what? If you were really cool, like I totally think you are, you’d even tell me about it, by, I don’t know, LEAVING A *&%?@ COMMENT, for instance.

Just a suggestion…

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Just kidding…

Well, not really…

But not being really THAT serious either…

Anyway…

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Back to functionality, if you’re a fellow blogger and, for some obscure reason, would like to exchange links with me, know that unless you are a pedophile, a terrorist, a serial killer, a born-again Christian (or any other brand of fanatical religious loon) or a fan of Ramiele Malubay, your chances that I’ll say yes are like, really really good.

There are a gazillion ways to get in touch with me (besides the obvious: leaving a %?&*@ comment), and you will find them all on my ABOUT page.

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That’s about it.

See ya later, bitches! And thanks for your visit!

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13 Responses to “WAIT!!!”

  1. ViciousCycle February 5, 2009 at 2:41 pm #

    Hi bitch

    Like

  2. salomey5 February 5, 2009 at 3:01 pm #

    Well, I guess I was asking for it…!
    Hi to you, Mr ViciousCycle, thanks for dropping by.
    I just glanced at your blog, looks interesting.
    I’ll take a better look later.

    Like

  3. Pwn Greenland February 7, 2009 at 7:22 pm #

    “…head to my fantabulous “Site Map”, which is never quite up to date, but since you can’t even identify a browser’s “back” button, so fucking what, it’s not like you’ll notice it anyway, tsk.”

    Heh. It’s hilarious and unbelievably true. I personally place the blame on AOL, simply because they helped spawn a generation of idiots who never bothered to open up Internet Explorer.

    Like

  4. cheezmunky February 14, 2009 at 6:08 pm #

    I think I’m going to start piggy-backing on your blog. I’ve got lots of opinions and insane rants, but I’m too lazy to start up my own blog and then try to get folks to go read it. Instead, I’ll just try to steal the thunder from you. Oh yeah, I’m a motherfucking thunder thief. And where there’s thunder, there’s lightning, and where there’s lightning, there’s electricity, and where there’s electricity, there’s power, and where there’s power, there’s a power source. Oh yeah…. I have no idea what I’m talking about. But maybe I do… so…

    Are you solemn, eh?
    Do they call you salomey?
    Here comes the munkay.

    That’s right. I can do haiku’s. And hike ooze. And high coo’s. And not only can I do poetry, I can pour a tree. Its simple: take your Liqui-Tree, pour it on the ground, and PRESS-TOE! Its a motherfucking tree. Its easy to see. Anyone can see. Except blind people and people that went blind. They can’t see. Its a tragedy. But I don’t care, cuz I’m a cheezmunky.

    (I have some light blog activity on my-muh-muh-myspace page if you’re interested…. http://www.myspace.com/bloejankenship )

    Like

  5. siovhinn February 16, 2009 at 3:15 pm #

    cool – enjoying the read.

    Like

  6. avideogameplayer February 18, 2009 at 1:10 pm #

    *peeks in*

    Like

  7. Julian Finn February 24, 2009 at 11:48 pm #

    Loved, loved, loved the exit door 😛

    So, are you making a Tom Robbins reference with your name, or a tongue in cheek biblical one, cause either way; cool.

    Like

  8. salomey5 February 25, 2009 at 1:13 am #

    Hey, someone finally likes my exit door! Thanks!

    I must say I don’t understand what you mean by the Tim Robbins or biblical reference regarding my name, which I have three of on this here blog: I go by either salomey5, Rebel Without A Clue, or Rachel.
    So you’ll have to come back to explain yourself further, otherwise I will keep wondering forever what that Julian guy meant by that, and it will ultimately drive me insane. 😉

    Thanks for dropping by, and I’ll have to take a closer look at it, but your blog seems… interesting. 🙂

    And to all the folks further up, I’m sorry I didn’t thank you all for your comments.
    My “Dear Nadya” post caused an unusual flow of traffic to my blog, and bizarrely, people started to leave comments left and right. This isn’t something I’m used to, nor do I know how to deal with it, and it freaked me out a little. So I did what I normally do when I’m a little freaked out: absolutely nothing.
    Sorry about that. And thanks. I really do appreciate it. 🙂

    Like

  9. Julian Finn February 25, 2009 at 11:42 pm #

    I was referring to salmomey, which seemed like a play on Salome, Herod’s stepdaughter who did the dance of the seven veils for him as a bribe to behead John the Baptist. (I know I know, heavy biblical reference for an Atheist lol)

    She’s also a character in a fantastic Tom Robbins novel called Skinny Legs And All, which is wrapped around the golden nugget concept of an Arab and a Jew opening a restaurant together across the street from the U.N. building.

    Thanks for giving my site a read, I’ll definitely back to see you again. 😀

    Like

  10. Julian Finn February 25, 2009 at 11:43 pm #

    Wow, that was supposed to be Salomey5. My spelling is border line Downs. 😦

    Like

  11. salomey5 February 28, 2009 at 7:44 pm #

    Oh, thanks for the explanation. I must confess that I’m both a Tom Robbins and a biblical ignoramus.

    I’m actually named after my cat, who is herself named after Oscar Wilde’s play “Salome” – which I haven’t read, but I’m guessing it must be inspired by the Bible stuff you speak of. Something about some psycho chick asking for John the Baptist’s head to be served to her on a silver tray, if I’m not mistaken?

    “salomey5” was born because I needed a username for some website, and both “salome” and “salomey” were taken. However, “salomey5” wasn’t. Et voilà!

    Like

  12. Julian Finn March 4, 2009 at 2:03 am #

    Well, I can’t recommend the bible in good conscience but Tom Robbins is a must read. Skinny Legs and All and Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates are the two that I’d most recommend. He’s the original rock n’ roll novelist.

    And yup, Salome=psycho with severed head/silverware fetish.

    😀

    Like

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. In case you wonder… « Rebel Without A Clue - February 28, 2009

    […] You may find this wunderbar piece of prose HERE. […]

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