Post This On Your Blog

5 Mar

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The following is a post by the famous author Cheezmunky, who threatened to personally deliver me bags of dogshit if I didn’t publish it, thus leaving me no choice.

Well, actually, that’s bollocks, he doesn’t know where I live, so I could have told him to go fuck himself, but I’m a lady, and I don’t say shit like that.

Anyway, I will eventually (probably) write a post explaining who the hell Cheezmunky is, but not now, because I need to go and blog about how much of a steaming pile of crap American Idol is.

For the time being, all you need to know about him is that he’s a strange creature who, like me, haunts the IMDb Idol board, and because I like weirdos, he became an online buddy of mine.

And he can also write.

So ladies and gentlemen, I bring you: A POST BY CHEEZMUNKY!!!

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Yep. I finagled my way onto a website that looks like someone spent some time on it. I’ve never been motivated to “sign up for a free blog” and “design the layout” and “self-promote.” I like to write about random topics but starting them is always a hard thing for me to do. I do better at comments. And sure, I’ve posted outstandingly hilarious comments here and there across the web, but there’s no money in being an “internet commentator.” Everybody comments on the internet. But there’s no profession for it. That’s the job that I want! Professional Bloggentator. You post your blogs and then someone, perhaps a competing blogger, pays me to comment on your blog and prove your blog to be false and inferior to my employer’s blog. The first blog entry to receive this treatment might possibly be titled “Man Gets Paid to Comment on Blogs.” I’d rip that one a new one.

There’s also no money in what I’m doing right now. I’m just doing this for the hell of it. And speaking of hell, the love of money is the root of all evil. Root down and get it. Peace and love.

cheezmunky.

P.B. And Jesus will knock over ATM’s if they ever put them inside churches. He has a history of doing that.

P.P.B. “P.B.” stands for Post Blog. I’m not writing a script so I see no point in using “P.S.”

(OK, salomey. There’s some shit to put on your blog. Oh wait… I fucking forgot to swear like you suggested….uhhh, lets see…. Fuck it. Its already typed. Fuck it.)

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7 Responses to “Post This On Your Blog”

  1. Julian Finn March 6, 2009 at 12:35 am #

    Uh, but wouldn’t that service drive more readers to the site you’re commenting on by boosting their traffic ranking?

    Please oh, please come and discredit my blog on behalf of Salomey. I’d appreciate it ever so much 😀

    Salomey:

    I feel for you on the American Idol issue. While I’ve always known that it was a steaming pile of dog shit, I know it hurts when the things you believe in let you down. I, for example, was very upset to learn that Star Wars wasn’t , in fact, a documentary (the whole, “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away” thing really threw me when I was 4) It doesn’t ever stop hurting, but someday you’ll laugh at the pain. And then you’ll kick Simon Cowell in the balls. For all of us.

    Cheers,
    Julian

    Like

    • cheezmunky March 13, 2009 at 3:48 pm #

      Maybe. Eventually. At some point. Never. Someday. Possibly. Lately, I’ve felt my powers of bullshit waning. Perhaps its lack of sleep. But salomey insisted that I reply to these comments, so here it is.

      And remember: Never eat toast after the 2nd thursday of a leap year.

      Like

  2. Roy March 6, 2009 at 6:07 pm #

    I would like to comment here but I haven’t been paid yet.

    Like

    • cheezmunky March 6, 2009 at 6:31 pm #

      Don’t forget to root down and get it.

      Like

  3. salomey5 March 8, 2009 at 12:14 am #

    Cheez, rule: your post, your readers, your comments, your commenting back.
    I think Julian is questioning your idea, and Roy wants some money from you. I’ll leave the arguing and the paying up to you. 😉
    And another rule: it’s mandatory that you visit their blogs too, otherwise, I’ll troll your ass on the IMDb board.

    Julian, I’m not upset at all about how sucky American Idol. In fact, I love that it’s so bad. If it was good, what would I have to blog about?
    My blog is all about releasing my not-so-inner bitch, and Idol is just the perfect target: it’s silly, overhyped, overrated, full of shit, often annoying, sometimes frustrating, occasionally unintentionally hilarious, way too long and cheesy as hell. Everything I could ever hope for!

    Like

  4. Roy March 9, 2009 at 8:14 pm #

    Okay I will comment here for free.

    In order to recieve payments for comments the commentor must establish a track record of often witty and thought provoking comments.
    But at the same time one must take care as to not over do the comments as to go way above the heads of the readers of a particular blog. Special attention must be given to the host of the blog as to offend them just enough where they do not delete your valued comment, but still lose any argument that you give them.

    Hit and run commenters will never be able to make a decent living, but they will almost always be funny, albeit not very thought provoking.

    The extra long commentar ( as you can see I am having trouble spelling that word) will too often ramble on and make such long sentences that nobody will be able to follow what he is saying and of course I have never been guilty of that.

    Of course, once established as a hired gun, you would have to have an alias to comment on blogs that you read just for fun.

    I think I will stick to blogging, there I can write whatever the hell I want to write and even post videos of my grandkids. ( shameless plug for my current blog).

    Of course if you take anything I just said serious then you should go and have an examination.

    Like

    • cheezmunky March 13, 2009 at 3:45 pm #

      You obviously failed to root down and get it. Yeah, yeah, I know. “What the hell does ‘root down and get it’ even mean?” I don’t know. Ask Jimmy Smith.

      Like

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