Useless filler post

1 May

Just to say that I’m still alive.

And also to say hello.

As well as to apologize for again, neglecting my blog as well as you guys who take the time to read it and comment on it. Yeah, I’m majorly kissing your ass, I’m aware of that, but I’m feeling kinda guilty about being so sucky at keeping up with my one and only and minuscule blog, and the handful of people who bother to check it out and leave their thoughts.

The problem is, I’ve added yet a new addiction to my already large and ever-growing series of existing addictions: Twitter. That’s fucking great, because I needed to get hooked on Twitter about as much as I needed a second anus.

However, I’ll not yet bore you with details about my still brand-new Twitter addiction, because I’m saving that for my next post, which shall be a behemoth made of confused ramblings about the evils of Twitter and my own stupid propensity to fall for every single Goddamn gimmick on the internet. I bet you’re really looking forward to reading it now, aren’t you? 😉

Oh yeah, and while I’m here, I might as well give you a quick update (giving quick updates is what I do all bloody day at the moment, so it’s become second-nature to me) on my long-time-no-see American Idol recaps. Well, I don’t know what will become of them, although I have scrupulously been taking notes during each show.

Now, whether or not those notes will turn into full-blown-and-full-of-shit recaps remains to be seen, depending on a number of different factors: weather, time, will power, real-life responsibilities, alcohol intake, social life and Twitter addiction, to name of few.

Not that it makes a difference anyway; in fact, ironically enough, in the past two weeks, my blog stats have risen , in spite of my not posting a single word. I’m not being paranoid here, but if I go with the saying: “Actions speak louder than words”, I perceive a message in this sudden spike in blog hits; a message which tells me loud and clear to SHUT. UP.

But that’s a depressing thought, so I’ll just lie to myself and pretend I’m just being paranoid. I revel in my own bullshit anyway.

And on the topic of my precious blog, since this is a useless filler post, I might as well pepper it with at least one fun, albeit useless fact.

A while ago, in my pre-Twitter days, when I still had time to get bored, I decided to engage in a bit of navel-gazing and to Google myself, as one does; and don’t you fucking lie about it, we’ve all done it, including you, hypocrite. Especially you, probably.

Anyway, Googling my real name doesn’t yield very interesting -or many, for that matter- results, since I avoid using my real name online. Paranoia? Perhaps. Habit? Likely. As far as I can remember, on the internet, I’ve always been salomey5.

WHOA!!! OK, this is a little scary… The last time I Googled “salomey5”, which was not that long ago, I got a couple of thousand results. I just did now, and guess what? 11,900 results!!? That’s fucking crazy, what the hell happened here? Is it Twitter?

Anyway, the sad reality is, 11,900 results or not, after result #83, Google informs me that it’s only showing me the most relevant entries, thus implying that the remaining 11,817 are, well, irrelevant. Gee, much thanks for the ego boost, Google!

And the other sad reality, is that getting 11,900 results when Googling one’s name is a clear indicator that “one” is spending far, FAR too much time on the interwebs. I mean, my (fake, thankfully) name is everywhere, including in places I had long forgotten, like for instance, Jossip, some celeb gossip website where I apparently posted back in 2007…

But let’s get back to that “fun fact” I was mentioning earlier, shall we?

After Googling my online-self, I decided to check out this here blog’s name, “Rebel Without A Clue”.

Edit: It was about a month ago when I indulged in all this-self-stalking, and it looks like my last post, Disgusting Video (just in case you missed it 😉 ) put my blog quite a bit higher up in the search results. It’s kinda cool for my ego, but not so much for the present blog post; you’ll see why in a minute. Sorry for the interruption. Keep on reading, now.

When Googling: Rebel Without A Clue, no quotation marks, I (well, my blog) come in 58th (was 140-something, prior to “Disgusting video”).

When Googling: “Rebel Without A Clue” with quotation marks, I come in 65th (was so fucking far in the results, prior to “Disgusting video”, that I never bothered trying to find out my actual position).

However, if I Google “Rebel Without A Clue fuck”, with or without question marks, I come in first. Yep, right ahead of Urban . Isn’t that fucking hysterical?

Obviously, that “fun fact” was more “fun” prior to “Disgusting video”, because the discrepancy in numbers was much more impressive back in the days when I wasn’t yet this huge internet celebrity, but hell, I warned you in the title, this is a filler post.

Or rather, was. Because it’s finished. And now, I’m off on Twitter. Later, bitches, and remember: I love you. No shit. I really do. Thanks for taking for the time to read my BS, I always, ALWAYS appreciate it, even if I suck at showing it. Have a great week-end, y’all. 🙂


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16 Responses to “Useless filler post”

  1. Sam May 2, 2009 at 3:24 am #

    Time to start writing, intern. 😉


  2. C.B.Jones May 2, 2009 at 11:20 am #

    Being alive is subjective. None of up is never really alive, man! It’s all just an illusion, congered up by the government, to trap our spiritual selves in flesh pods of grounded confinement.


    Sorry about that. I was channeling my inner hippy. I’ve never taken time to gaze at my own navel. I feel insulted that you would even launch such accusations in my general direction….

    …You self Googling, twit obsessed weirdo!


  3. salomey5 May 2, 2009 at 4:08 pm #

    @Sam: Thanks for swinging by, man. 🙂 I *have* been slacking off, haven’t I?
    I got your message BTW, sorry, I only check MySpace once in a blue moon. In fact, these days, I check everything once in a blue moon, other than, obviously, my precious crack cocaine… erm, Twitter… Hopefully, I’ll kick off the habit before summer starts.

    @C.B.: What the hell is all this new-agey bullshit, dude? Your inner-hippy doth revel in abstract ramblings which go way over the head of my self-Googling narcissistic person.
    And my deepest apologies for insulting you. Who the hell am I to dare implying that a blogger would stoop as low as Googling their own name? (Although I’m 100% positive that every blogger has over-indulged in this practice… So really, I call BS! 😉 )

    And I’m so, SO sorry for insulting you. I should NEVER have implied that you were Googling yourself.


  4. Sam May 3, 2009 at 10:33 am #

    Well, looks like i’ve to get twitter and get lost into your world.


  5. Bencetera May 5, 2009 at 9:09 pm #

    Thanks for the comment. I’ll be reading your blog often, too, so GET TO WRITING! Just kidding.


  6. YogaforCynics May 6, 2009 at 11:52 pm #

    without a clue

    is kind of a haiku.


  7. Carolyn Cordon May 7, 2009 at 11:29 pm #

    We should be friends, You may help me connect with my inner cat. It skulks in my head somewhere, hiding from the dogs who live in our household in ‘most precious creatures’ positions.
    I can tell from your avatar and your writings that you know cat so well. You ooze cat. You know that ‘siamese cat – who gives a fuck?’ look.
    I love your words. We are friends as soon as I figure out what to do next.


  8. salomey5 May 8, 2009 at 1:14 am #

    @Sam: That’s (finally) been taken care of. 😉

    @Ben: You better. I’ll be stalking you on Twitter anyway, reminding you to read my blog. And I trust you’ll remind me to read yours, too.

    @New people: I know you two are from BC, and I sure remember you, Dr. Jay (YogaforCynics), from the BC forum. Thanks for dropping by. 🙂

    Carolyn, I do not believe we have been introduced yet, very nice to meet you. However, I am sorry to disappoint you, I am not a cat. I am a lion. WAY better than a simple cat. Will be happy to share my knowledge of all things catty with you, and thanks very much for commenting. 🙂


  9. Carolyn Cordon May 8, 2009 at 1:34 am #

    A lioness hey? Well, I’d better stay on my toes when you’re around. I’m a dog person, but as I said, I think there’s an inner kitty, trying to get out.

    Of course if it does get out, my pack of hounds might kill it, they’ll chase it anyway, that’s for sure.

    I’m fascinated by cats, and I love lionesses. They are such a great metaphor for humans. The female lion (lioness) does all the work and the male lion gets to lounge around and be the king of the savannah!


  10. hi May 12, 2009 at 4:23 pm #

    Salomey! Update your blog! …such as some American Idol recaps 🙂


  11. salomey5 May 13, 2009 at 12:45 pm #

    @Carolyn: As far as lionesses go, I guess you could say I don’t exactly represent. I like to be the one lounging around and being the queen of the savannah, and I do so every chance I get (which, let’s face it, isn’t that often!)

    @hi: Hi, mysterious stranger who has obviously visited my blog before… 😉 Well, I am flattered to see that my Idol recaps are in such high demand, and because of that, I’ve decided to fulfil your request and write you a nice recap, just for you.
    However, since you are the one who’s “forcing” me to chain myself at my desk and write, instead of fucking about on Twitter, I need to punish you, which I already have. I’ve started to write my top 3 recap last night, and have you featured in it. Hope you don’t mind. 😉
    Recap should be up sometime tomorrow.


  12. Carolyn Cordon May 13, 2009 at 7:44 pm #

    Hey Salomey5, so you like to act like the lazy male lions? Good on you, why should they be the ones who get away with doing nearly nothing!


  13. Anonymous July 15, 2009 at 11:28 am #

    No blog frog ?


  14. ashlinnsarahjane December 25, 2009 at 11:57 pm #

    “because I needed to get hooked on Twitter about as much as I needed a second anus.” this made me laugh. thoroughly.


    • salomey5 December 30, 2009 at 3:30 am #

      Good, at least one of us laughing!

      And imagine, this post is months old. Things got much worse since.

      Seriously, this ongoing Twitter addiction is very time-consuming. At the same time, I must admit that it’s a hell of a lot of fun… :p

      Thanks for the comment! 🙂


  15. online stock trading advice January 11, 2010 at 6:56 am #

    Hey very nice blog!!….I’m an instant fan, I have bookmarked you and I’ll be checking back on a regular….See ya

    I’m Out! 🙂


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