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New year, new decade: new post. Coming soon (hopefully): new me

2 Jan

Note:

The following post was started on Palindrome Day, but unfortunately, was only finished the following day, thus making part of the ‘information” stated below erroneous. However, I have fixed the problem by cheating on the publishing date, making myself seem a bit less full of shit in the process.

Other note:

Palindrome: a word, line, verse, number, sentence, etc., that reads the same backward as forward.

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Happy Palindrome day, motherfuckers!

Today’s date is: 01-02-2010. It’s a palindrome! I’m beside myself with excitement!

Actually, it’s only a palindrome in North-America, where inexplicably, they arrange dates by month, followed by day and then year. Which is totally nonsensical, in my opinion. Wouldn’t it make more sense to go day-month-year? Anyway. Not the object of this post. Sorry for going off-topic on your asses so quickly.

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100 Sexy Men in 1 Minute

11 Apr

Yowser…! Where are those emoticons with their eyes popping out of their head when you need them? Have they even been invented yet?

But here’s a more burning question: how come no one never told me about People‘s “100 Sexy Men in 1 Minute” videos? Hmm? U guys really suck. And you gals suck even more.

I, of course, already knew that every year, People awards the title of “Sexiest man alive” to either Brad Pitt or George Clooney, depending whether the year ends in an odd or an even number.

And yes. I do know that People’s latest sexiest dude is neither one of the aforementioned, but Hugh Jackman, but they do have to throw people off once in a while. It will be back to George next year, I tell ya.
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Leave Jessica aloooone!!!

30 Jan

OMG you guys, Jessica Simpson got SOOOOOO fat…!

Look at that:

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(Pictures from: Popcrunch.com)

 

Isn’t she, like, tooootally repulsive?

 

OK, let’s get real, here, people. This girl isn’t fat. Hell, she probably wouldn’t even make it in the chubby club, so give her a break, k?

For the record, I don’t give a flying fuck about Jessica Simpson. I personally find her to be a dumb airhead and a mediocre singer with annoying mannerisms.

That said, she comes across as a nice enough person, and she’s completely harmless. So what if she put on a couple of pounds?

Everyone is ripping on Lindsay Lohan because she’s too thin, but Daisy Duke shows up bloated in public and there’s an outcry about her being overweight? Come on! What the fuck is it that you want already?

The girl has curves, and I give her props for not hiding it.

***

Oh. My. God.

 

I cannot believe I just defended Jessica Simpson.

I can’t even believe I wrote a post about Jessica Simpson.

 

I need to go and take a very long, very hot shower.

But not before making a bitchy comment about her outfit, which is, I’ll give you that, absolutely fucking horrendous. I mean, isn’t one leopard-printed belt hideous enough? So why wear two? As for the pervert who invented the high-waisted pants, he or she should be condemned to wear a glow-in-the-dark unitard for the rest of his or her life.

 

I’m done. On a final note, leave Jessica alone.

Dammit.