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Dancing with the Stars, episode “the Tea Party crashes the ballroom”

22 Nov

If you had told me six months ago that I would one day find myself campaigning for a Palin, I would have had you wrapped in straight jacket faster than Mama Grizzly can say “Gotcha!”

Six months later, here I am, begging you all to pick up the phone and/or get online tonight and vote your asses off for Bristol Palin to become the eleventh winner of Dancing With The Stars, and the most glaringly undeserving person ever to snatch that tacky mirror ball trinket they dare call a trophy.

I beseech you, do it.

Do it for the lulz.

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Celebrity Apprentice 3, episode 4 recap

12 Apr

Hi. It’s me again already. In full blogging mode for the second day in a row. I don’t know what’s going on with me, but I’m on a roll! And since it rarely happens, I might as well take advantage of it.

So I’ve decided I would tackle the task of recapping two shows simultaneously, even though we all know I can barely keep up with one for more than 6 weeks. But hey, I’m feeling ambitious tonight. (Please take note that my ambition may not extend beyond tonight.)

As I was mentioning in my last post, I’m currently obsessed with Survivor (nothing new here) and Celebrity Apprentice.

Survivor, because it’s awesome, and the Trump circus, because this season happens to be very entertaining. How could it not be with characters like Sharon Osbourne, Cyndi Lauper and Bret Michaels?

Unfortunately, Celebrity Apprentice suffered a tragic blow last week, when it lost the wonderful ex-Governor of Illinois Rod Blagojevich, who fell under the axe of his own incompetence. And people are saying Cyndi Lauper is spaced out?

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Celebrity Survivor Apprentice: Oh, the pain…

8 Apr

Ah… People… Tis has been a rough week for yours truly… As if the huge blow I suffered last Thursday wasn’t enough, I had to be put through yet another painful loss on Sunday… Sigh… Sometimes, life is just not fair…

In the same week, I lost both Boston Rob and Blago. I’m so upset.

What do you mean, "Who the fuck is Boston Rob?" Shouldn’t you be asking: "Who the fuck is Blago?" instead?

Boston Rob, clueless reader, is reality TV royalty. He’s been on Survivor, then on Survivor, then on the Amazing Race, then on Fear Factor, then on the Amazing Race again (I think), and I’m sure on a lot of other shows I wouldn’t know about because I don’t have cable. Continue reading

The Dancing With the Stars “stars” are pussies

7 Mar

 

Two blondes down, how many more to go?

nancy-o-dell-dancing-with-the-stars

  Jewel 

 

I just found out that both Jewel and Nancy O’Dell from Access Hollywood dropped off cheese-fest Dancing With the Stars. And that, just days before it’s slated to start.

Cause: some shit about torn ligaments, smashed knees or whatever.

Yes, you are reading right, the show hasn’t even begun yet. Why the fuck else would I call them “pussies” in the post title?

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WTF??!! Steve O on DWTS???

28 Feb

Apologies for this avalanche of acronyms, but I’m in shock, you guys…

It’s old news, but for me, it’s new news, because I’ve just caught it on TV, then went to check on the internets, and…

I am not shitting you… Dancing with Steve O will … Sorry, Dancing with the Stars will be on Steve O… Or the other way around… Oh! Ah! Hee! My God, I feel like Kate Winslet at the Golden Globes…

Steve O, dude…

steveodrinking

This Steve O right here…

Jackass Steve O.

The guy who made his fame and fortune by drinking urine, squeezing lemon juice in his eyes and stapling his balls to his inner-thighs.

Now that you have all this insider information, can you still look at me in the eyes and tell me that you can imagine this dude dancing the waltz?

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I don’t actually hate “At the movies”…

9 Feb

Seriously, I don’t…

I’m talking about the the show that “replaced” “Ebert and Roeper”. It’s called “At the Movies“, and it’s hosted by Ben Lyons and Ben Mankiewicz.

And it seems people “aren’t likin’ it”. (Maybe some of you will get this obscure reference. Make sure you leave a comment if you do. 😉 )

Anyway, I’m talking about it because I’m currently watching their “If we picked the winners” pre-Oscar special, and although I’m in a bitchy mood tonight, I just cannot find a valid reason to hate on these guys. Their critique makes sense, they’re coherent, they’re articulate. I just don’t see what is so wrong with them. But maybe there’s something I’m missing, because a lot of folks out there don’t seem very fond of them.

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