Howdy bitches! Whaddup? Had a good summer? Ready for the fall TV line-up? And more importantly, are you excited over the new show which will be starting to air tonight at 8pm while Survivor is on hiatus?
I’m sorry, what was that? Survivor isn’t on hiatus? The program debuting tonight is Survivor? Oh, honey. No it ain’t, but if believing that it is makes you feel better, by all means, go ahead and keep on fooling yourself. Here, have some more wool to pull over your eyes, and now, get out of here, go tell Russell Hantz on Twitter how he was robbed in Samoa and should have won, and let us grown-ups have an adult conversation, K?
Ugh. Damn casuals.
So, where was I? Oh yeah. The show that is replacing Survivor, and which, for some odd reason, CBS insists on calling Survivor even though they’re wrong. My theory behind this is that since this new show will air during what has been Survivor’s time slot for quite a while, and since it will comprise many a familiar face, starting with Jeff Probst’s, CBS figured out that calling it “Let’s Twist Again” or some clever shit like that would probably confuse the viewing audience, and evenmoreso, America’s favourite airhead, Kat Edorsson. (Kat, if you ever read this, just prepare yourself for the fact that I’m gonna bag on you a LOT this season. But also know that I’ll be doing it out of love. So it’s a compliment, really. Kinda.)