Riots “R” Us

It’s Saturday night. I’m feeling blue and antsy. And bored. And still sick from Wednesday night’s mass absorption of alcohol.

But hey, it was all for a good cause. After all, the Habs, aka the Canadien, aka the CH, aka Montreal’s hockey team have won yet another round in the Stanley Cup playoffs, and that, in game 7 for the second time in a row.

Such a shame they’re not playing tonight. Because you know what I think would cheer me up and give me a nice little morale boost?

A riot.

Seriously, what better way to cheer for a winning team, to demonstrate one’s joy and excitement than by smashing a few store windows, looting a bunch of shops and attacking a couple of cops with broken beer bottles?

Of course, these kind of practices are a bit on the expensive side, but who cares about a few grand when what we get for them is a celebratory riot on Montreal’s main commercial street?

Plus, as an added bonus, once the cops have cleared the streets off all the euphoric revellers, we get the alas too rare chance of walking on broken glass for several hundreds of meters, something we all know is awesome (as long as you’re not wearing flip-flops.)