Diablo’s AI review, 5/12/09

Two songs each tonight, but personally I’d just rather hear them sing ONE entire song as opposed to two chopped, up under two minute versions of two different songs, but that’s the way it goes!

 

Danny Gokey – (Dance Little Sister) 7/10 OK, I’ll do my best to not completely bash Gokey but I can only call his vocal style pseudo-soul. It is NOT genuine to my ears at all. Way to go Paula for picking a POS song for him to sing, WTF were you thinking? This song is LAME but Danny sings it pretty good. The jazz scat in the middle was kinda cool and much better than that idiot Blake Lewis and his ridiculous beatboxing BS! I’d give him a higher rating if this were a better song. He did a good job considering what he had to work with!

Diablo’s AI review, 4/28/09

I honestly think that Simon was playing the devils advocate for the most part tonight saying the exact opposite of what he really thought. That’s just my opinion though! Well here is what I thought of the performances tonight, the brutal truth the way I saw, or should I say, heard it!

Rat-pack week, which means booring standards that will be hard to sit through. Well here goes:

Kris – (The Way You Look Tonight) 7.5/10 How funny would it be if this dark horse underdog actually on the whole thing? It could happen and I’d certainly rather see him win than Danny and especially Matt. His voice is very smooth and suble on this one and full of emotion. Plus, when he goes falsetto, he doesn’t sound like a total wimp like some other contestant *cough*MATT*cough*. Very good job from Kris, way to go!

Diablo’s AI review, 4/21/09

Disco night, oh boy my favorite genre of music ever…………….NOT! Lets just hope the contestants change up the songs a bit so they don’t suck as much as they originally did. Sure there were a few good songs of the disco era, but the disco era production ruined them. Lets hope the contestants don’t sing them all in disco style! Here we go!

Lil – (I’m Every Woman) 7/10 This is one of her best performances yet IMO! She’s not doing anything special with the song or changing it up in anyway but she is singing it very well. And that damn suit she’s wearing is pretty distracting I must say, but I LIKE IT! I gotta say, she looks SMOKIN HOT tonight! I think the judges were unfairly harsh to her. She did great!

Diablo’s AI review, 4/14/09

OK first of all, this BS about only hearing two of the judges critique the contestants SUCK! Make the show 2 hours and let them sing an entire song instead of a one minute forty-five second butchering and let all four judges speak! WTF is the point of having four judges if only two of them are going to critique each contestant? TOTAL BS!

Well its AI goes to the movies, oh boy. Here goes!

Allison – 7.5/10 (I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing) Damn good, but still not her best! This girl just has an amazing natural gift and she uses it very well! If she isn’t in the finale’, I will not watch this show ever again!

Diablo’s AI review, 4/7/09

Well its ‘Songs From The Year You Were Born’ week at AI. I’ve always thought this was one of the lamest theme’s they do, oh well! This is what I thought of the performances tonight, agree, disagree, call me an idiot, whatever, I don’t care!

Danny Gokey – Stand By Me (6/10) I don’t get any of the hype about this guy, he is completely mediocre! His voice is WAY too whiney for my taste, I would never listen to anyone that sings like him. He isn’t even what I would consider a good gospel singer, he can’t hold a candle to Steve Green! I hear absolutely NOTHING special or great about this guy, he is booring and completely generic!

Kris Allen – All She Wants To Do Is Dance (7/10) I have always HATED this song! He sings it OK and I like the fact that he did it differently than the original. There are TONS of better songs from 1985 that he could’ve picked from though!

The Diablo review – Top 9

 

First of all let me just say that this is without a doubt the absolute WORST season of AI yet! There are only 3 really talented people left and the rest are just horrible IMO, or nothing more than average karaoke singers that have no business being in such a big talent search! Well here is what I thought of the performances tonight!

Anoop – This guy has no business being on this show and has ZERO chance of ever becoming a star. Karaoke medioicrity at its most mediocre!

Megan – She’s very pretty but WHO CARES?! Her voice is mediocre at best.

Danny – I HATE this smug bastard! And WTF are the judges smoking?! Whatever it is, they’re exhaling it right up his ass! HE SUCKS! Rascal Flatts sucks bad enough, but at least their lame-ass singer can hit a high note, he didn’t even attempt to hit the high notes on this song because he doesn’t have the range to hit them! God I hope this arrogant smug bastard gets sent packing soon!

Allison – The best singer on the show this year without a doubt! Win or lose, she will go far in music!

Scott – More generic mediocrity!

Matt – This guy is HORRIBLE! And his arrogant cocky smug attitude certainly doesn’t help at all. I’ve seen people perform better their first time to ever sing at an open mic night! Please let this wanker be sent packing soon too!

Lil’ – Good voice but generic!

Adam – The bastard grandchild of Elvis can sing his gay ass off! Man I wish I had pipes like that!

Kris – Very good, he’ll do well after AI, I have no doubt about that!

Of the nine left, there are only three with actual talent, three that are just mediocre and three that I am just simply baffled by the fact they’re on the show!

Talent:
Adam
Allison
Kris

Mediocrity:
Lil
Scott
Danny

HORRIBLE:
Matt
Megan
Anoop

 

The Diablo AI review, 2/10/09

First of all, Ryan is a DORK! There is nothing “historic” about the Kodak Theater. I think something needs to be in existance a little longer than 10 years to make it historic, and thats a HUGE understatement!

 

Now to my opinion of the singing.

Adam Lambert- OK I fully retract my statement last week claiming he would win. Not only do I think he won’t win, but I pray that he doesn’t win! He might as well get a sex cahnge because he already sings just like a girl, so he may as well get the same equipment! His singing certainly has no balls anyway!

Matt Giraurd-I like this guy, he has a nice voice and very good piano skills.

Jamar-This guy isn’t that good. He doesn’t suck, but his voice is WAY too whiney for my taste!

Diablo review 2/4/09

Not alot to say about this one really.

I think the group thing is silly in a way, but I can see its purpose. A mediocre singer may sound good on their own but put them next to a really good singer and it only exposes their mediocrity even more. The drama and BS is annoying but it shows me who is professional and who isn’t. The look on the keyboard guys face said it all. I could just tell he hates dealing with such rank amatuers, but at least he’s getting paid well for his services!

The DIABLO review. 2/3/09

I can’t really call this a review being that there weren’t actual full performances to review, so this is just my opinion of the singers they featured tonight!

Lil Rounds – I can only assume here name is short for Lillian! She looks alot like a contestant from several years ago, but I can’t think of her name! This chick obviously has a damn good voice but when are these girls going to learn, YOU DON’T SING WHITNEY!!! You’ll never be as good as Whitney was so don’t even try! Its not like she even made an effort to sing it her own way, she tried to copy Whitney not for note and failed IMO! I would’ve let her through as well but I was not inpressed with her tonight! I have a feeling she’ll do really good though!

Duck and cover…!!!

He’s back!!!

Who, you ask?

My opiniated, outspoken, rebellious, controversial and fellow fan of expletives, Diablo, that is!

Diablo contributed a few of his reviews to my blog last season, and offered to do it again for the ridiculous circus that season 8 shapes up to be.

Offer which I enthusiastically accepted. Given that I seem unable to turn in my own “recaps” a week late, let alone on time, it’s comforting to know that thanks to Diablo, who unlike me isn’t a slacker, my blog will be updated with fresh Idol reviews.

The other upside is that it will likely give me an inferiority complex and encourage me to get off Blog Fucking Catalog, where I spend so much time networking (read: posting stupid stuff on forums), that I don’t have time to blog anymore.

So I’m gonna do my part.

Starting right after Jeopardy.

In the meantime, enjoy Diablo’s reviews!

 

Welcome back, Diablo!:)