If you had told me six months ago that I would one day find myself campaigning for a Palin, I would have had you wrapped in straight jacket faster than Mama Grizzly can say “Gotcha!”
Six months later, here I am, begging you all to pick up the phone and/or get online tonight and vote your asses off for Bristol Palin to become the eleventh winner of Dancing With The Stars, and the most glaringly undeserving person ever to snatch that tacky mirror ball trinket they dare call a trophy.
I beseech you, do it.
Do it for the lulz.
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Two songs each tonight, but personally I’d just rather hear them sing ONE entire song as opposed to two chopped, up under two minute versions of two different songs, but that’s the way it goes!
Danny Gokey – (Dance Little Sister) 7/10 OK, I’ll do my best to not completely bash Gokey but I can only call his vocal style pseudo-soul. It is NOT genuine to my ears at all. Way to go Paula for picking a POS song for him to sing, WTF were you thinking? This song is LAME but Danny sings it pretty good. The jazz scat in the middle was kinda cool and much better than that idiot Blake Lewis and his ridiculous beatboxing BS! I’d give him a higher rating if this were a better song. He did a good job considering what he had to work with!
I honestly think that Simon was playing the devils advocate for the most part tonight saying the exact opposite of what he really thought. That’s just my opinion though! Well here is what I thought of the performances tonight, the brutal truth the way I saw, or should I say, heard it!
Rat-pack week, which means booring standards that will be hard to sit through. Well here goes:
Kris – (The Way You Look Tonight) 7.5/10 How funny would it be if this dark horse underdog actually on the whole thing? It could happen and I’d certainly rather see him win than Danny and especially Matt. His voice is very smooth and suble on this one and full of emotion. Plus, when he goes falsetto, he doesn’t sound like a total wimp like some other contestant *cough*MATT*cough*. Very good job from Kris, way to go!
Disco night, oh boy my favorite genre of music ever…………….NOT! Lets just hope the contestants change up the songs a bit so they don’t suck as much as they originally did. Sure there were a few good songs of the disco era, but the disco era production ruined them. Lets hope the contestants don’t sing them all in disco style! Here we go!
Lil – (I’m Every Woman) 7/10 This is one of her best performances yet IMO! She’s not doing anything special with the song or changing it up in anyway but she is singing it very well. And that damn suit she’s wearing is pretty distracting I must say, but I LIKE IT! I gotta say, she looks SMOKIN HOT tonight! I think the judges were unfairly harsh to her. She did great!
Good evening, good people.
Ah, how nice it is to be able to watch the damn show live, for a change…!
But for once, let’s (me) cut the crap and get right into the topic: the biggest karaoke contest on the planet.
Tonight is going to be wonderful, I know it. Why? Because tonight, there will be twice less show to watch, yawn at, recap, yawn at more, and then publish two weeks late. Tonight, Idol is going to make some lame attempt at cramming 8 performances and the usual useless BS from our full-of-shit judges in one hour, and I predict they will miserably fail.
Although, I’m telling you guys, I’m really starting to develop a soft spot for Paula, in spite of… Actually, make that because of the fact that she’s perpetually heavily sedated.
Paula makes no sense most of the time, but it’s a big part of her charm. At least, what she says is pretty (I like it when she goes off on her monologues about colours), and funny, and unlike the other three broken records, you can always expect her to say some totally weird shit at some point during the show.
OK first of all, this BS about only hearing two of the judges critique the contestants SUCK! Make the show 2 hours and let them sing an entire song instead of a one minute forty-five second butchering and let all four judges speak! WTF is the point of having four judges if only two of them are going to critique each contestant? TOTAL BS!
Well its AI goes to the movies, oh boy. Here goes!
Allison – 7.5/10 (I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing) Damn good, but still not her best! This girl just has an amazing natural gift and she uses it very well! If she isn’t in the finale’, I will not watch this show ever again!
Before you ask, no, there is no typo in the title of this post. It is indeed my (ever-so-slightly delayed) recap of the top 10 results.
It has dawned on me that posting a recap of a two-weeks old show may kind of dumbass-y, but given that I already had written most of the fucker, then thought I’d lost it, only to find it again yesterday, I figured I might as well publish it, thus giving you something to read while I write the other four recaps that I have lined up.
Plus I was really due to post something I had written myself. The way things are at the moment, Diablo is contributing to my own blog more than I do. So thank you Diablo for keeping my blog alive for me! 😉
I don’t know what the fuck is up with me, but I’ve found it really hard to blog in the recent weeks. My mind is all over the place (although mostly in the gutter these days, but that’s another story for some other time) and I’m having trouble focusing. But hey, at least, I’m trying, so don’t give me no grief!
OK, I’ll stop my ramblings right here, and try and get started on recapping last night’s show in between two loads of laundry.
In the meantime, enjoy the nostalgia of this top 10 results recap! (Man, I can be SO lame sometimes…!)